Forbidden LOVE

I've been thinking all day,all night...about this relationship we called,about this love and about Us...

Before loving you,I know the consequences,I've been controlling myself,my feelings not to love you..
As far as I could,I'm not heading my way to you,
As far as I could I keep distance and not to be near to you..but then in every step I make I found my self looking for you..

I did think this for hundred times,
what i would do,what i could do and what i should do..????
so that i will not fall for you..

Sometimes there comes a time that you can't handle the situation..For the pass year,months and days of letting him go(husband)In other part of me,I found myself giving you importance,space and place in my heart and life...
But I guess I'm in trouble..making my self not comfortable..because i noticed day by day my love for you grow,I don't know why..

I keep myself not to love you and I should ignore you..but late at night comes as I go to sleep,I found myself asking for an unanswered prayer..
Now that situation been this far though I tried my best to be far..I guess I'm ready again to find,find another pain in my mind..and my heart..I'm ready to feel the pain..

What this love called???"FORBIDDEN LOVE"
because you love me and i love you but we cant be together..
How much time I will take,to know if you're for me or should i let you free??

LETTING GO...:(
letting go is easy to say but I guess the hardest thing to do specially loving someone like you...
truth really hurts but i know I should face...

Many people I've talked if I will let you go or I should hope...
Should i keep you and never talk but i guess i should think before its late..

Letting go is easy,but you should tell me so I'll be the one to move away...
But as I ask you for this,you told me like this.."I'm not okay,I'm not better,I'm not good without you in my life...
so what would I do??I felt the same way too..:(

As we talked about this,you asked me" if I can wait"..and I answer you YES...
I will wait until the time you're the one who choose to leave,I know I'm crazy choosing this...But its okay rather I leave you with regrets...I'm the one chooses my heart will break and I guess I'm holding on to this until the time you chooses to leave..
Still I'm hoping for something to happen,because I know with ALLAH nothing is impossible and I'm praying...
There''s no problem in waiting for you,though I'm not sure if you'll be there too..One thing I know I will love you the way I know..

For YOU" the man my heart felt love now..I hope you will read and realize How...
InshaAllah ,you will find in your heart and take action for this love..
I know you'll have hardest decision in your life...for your family,that I am the girl you love..
I hope and pray for Allah above..that He will make way for our love...and open heart for the family you have...

In every situation I know there's a choice to make but there some other way that choosing sometimes will lead you in a wrong way...so that's why I'm holding on to my decision..Ill wait for you till the time You get married..maybe by then I can accept that we're not really meant for each other and if that day come i will not regret the decision i made...I know you'll get married for your family's decision..but i hope its not too soon..:(

Before I end this..let me tel you I LOVE  YOU like this and I hope you feel it because I'm crazy about this.....