Since I know that I'm pregnant,I wonder what Life I could give you,what can I offer you..I'm thinking if I will be a good mother to you..but only one thing I know that time is that I'm glad and blessed to have you..
9 months in my womb is worth fighting for...
Alhamdulillah I have Allah beside me even I don't have the courage to fight for more and even I don't have the people I love around me...
I fight everyday to the best I can specially when your father needs to leave us...I don't know what to do,I wish to be with him if I can but Allah did not allow me because of you..I fight life and even death just to be strong and I think of you always even some people doesn't see and feel it..Being a mother is a hard-task but I try my best to be one like your mama(grand mother)..
I fight every breath I have now and not being with you is like killing me..
When I was a child I feel how to grow up without the guidance of a father,so I wish and pray Allah that you will not feel the same what I feel before,but Allah loves me and I don't wanna ask why...As you approach life I know you will feel it..but I become a better person with mama beside me guiding me,InshaAllah you will become a better person although you have only me in your life baby...
I know wherever your Dada right now he is much proud of you...and I know He don't want to go and He want to fight back but Allah needs another angel to be with him so He ask your father to stay with him..someday I will tell you how much your Dada loves you even though He don't see you until he go..but he leave one big hug for you I feel it..and even though He did not talk till the last breath of him and I hear no words in his mouth only one thing He told me before that everything happen..
have sabar and eman..and He kisses my tummy(stomach) for three times then everything happen just for a second..
I tried to revive you Dada but Allah did not Allow me He tell me he need to rest and I need him here beside me...
Until the last breath of him I hug him and kiss him and I let him feel loved,I remembered that day when you are moving your two feet in my womb as if you are comforting me as I feel alone and as your Dada bid his last goodbye to me..
Your Dada is a great person and I hope you will be like him,you will have his best attitude being sabar in everything...
and so when I step out the door and look for our future I did not look back and I did not allow you to go to airport with me coz I know that I'll be on my knees...
I'm here because of you,I swear to your Dada that I will continue what our plans for you even though I'm alone now..but Your Dada promised me one thing I will never be alone in everything because I have him and I have Allah with me..Alhamdulillah..
I remember when your Dada told me I can't offer you anything(money,jewelry,things)only my Love for you but He promised me to received something worth living for, the greatest gift that I ever received from your Dada is YOU...
Having you in my life is worth fighting and living for..I thank Allah for being your mommy...I'm happy and lucky to have you in my life....and I thank Mama for guiding your way like me..I owe everything to her and to Allah..Enjoy your day baby...
Baba,tita jhing,papap dj and papap jr,mie jewel and amboh yay is loving you and so with your GREATEST mama and mommy..
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